An Erotic and Esoteric Adventure

thigh highs

So I had cyber sex with the Texan tonight. Did I not mention him before? During my purge and in starting over again, I kept a few Skype contacts. I have been trying to get over my chatroom addiction and I met the Texan right when I was weaning myself off of it. As a matter of fact I did mention the Texas boy here:  An Electric and Serendipitous Encounter

Anyway, I thought he wasn’t going to show back up. But boy did he ever. I said I wasn’t going to involve myself with online relationships anymore, but here we go again. I just can’t get obsessed again like I usually do. He said something tonight after we had our session that disturbed me though. He just had sex last weekend with a “friend.” This just means trouble. I have to put my heart on extra alert now. He says I am special to him and he has feelings for me, but is he for real? How? When he just had sex last weekend?

I am not stupid, I know how these things go. He could have a girlfriend, he could be married. All of my fears are popping up again. At least with the other men I had in my life I knew I was the only one, but this is a whole new animal. How do I deal with that? Do I just play it cool and casual? I mean I haven’t had actual sex in a long time and I know that if I were to do it again the man would have to be extra special to me. Or does he? I mean I flirted with the idea of sleeping with a friend of mine because the need was just there. Could it be the same for him? I can’t help but think that sex is just sex to some people. Including me. I mean I didn’t go through with it, but if my friend wasn’t such a dickhead who would rather sext when my pussy was on a platter for him, then yeah I might have really done it. So who says it wasn’t just a need for the Texan too?

I don’t want to judge. I am not about to. Things may end up getting really good with this man. I never know. But I did have a good time though. Boy that was some good sex. even if it was just cyber. I hadn’t orgasmed like that in quite some time. It felt really good, and I hope it will become a regular thing. I need to loosen the reins around my neck a bit. I did manage to stay out of the chats, so if I just concentrate on the Texan, my other contact on Skype Valiant, and my penpal on Reddit, I think I will be okay. I mean I wanted to purge myself from everyone online, but who am I kidding? A girl has needs ya know. At least all this has kept me distracted from my bipolar madness. We shall see.

Stay tuned.

About shatteredwishes

I am in my late-thirties just trying to figure out life in a big city. "When in life you are handed lemons, make a vodka martini." "When I am happy I enjoy the music, but when I am sad I understand the lyrics."
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3 Responses to An Erotic and Esoteric Adventure

  1. tarnishedsoul says:

    I’ve always felt that it is easy to lose yourself in the world of online affairs – as salaciously fun as they might be. The reality is that there is no way to validate the reality of online – unless, you are connected to people online that know you in real life. With that, being said, however, I also think that there is something fun about the fantasy escape of being online.
    I know for myself, I am enjoying the new person that is emerging in me, lately, and I believe she has needs very similar to what you have expressed here. And, although I would prefer a very personal connection, sometimes the offerings are FAR less and seizing on something can satiate you for the time being.
    The bottom line is this: Did you avoid hurting anyone (including yourself)? Did you avoid breaking the law? Did you enjoy yourself? If the answer is “yes” to these questions, then maybe it is completely okay.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for that! I really needed to hear it. I have been thinking about him lately, and he did leave me a message last night, but I actually got some sleep. I didn’t hurt anybody and I did have a good time so what does it hurt right? I have to say I am glad I enjoyed myself and so did he. He is obviously thinking about me so that’s a plus. But as far as being online goes, I have an addiction to it. I need to find something else to do, I really do.

      Liked by 1 person

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