Snow in May, But things Feel “Oh, so Right”


You heard it first. Reporting from the Northeast of the USA, we are expecting snow in the middle of May. When did the world get so crazy? Am I allowed to “officially” say the weather is acting bipolar? Cause yeah, it is. This has been an up and down week for me, because I have been really focused on getting a job. Since my best friend, (and soul mate), was out-of-town this week, I was kind of left by myself to find entertainment. I will admit I was feeling lonely, and found comfort on Twitter, (of all places), following along with other Trekkies, with the hashtag #AllStarTrek,  (if any of you are interested), and watching the different series one after the other on the History and Icons channel. I think it’s pretty cool that they show The Next Generation, (my favorite), Voyager, Deep Space Nine and others all in a row. But I digress, I am not gonna nerd out on my blog. I will spare you that, haha.

Anyway, along with trying to get my sleep patterns in order, I met up with The Texan last night and had a great conversation. Of course it led to a nice hot and steamy cyber sex session, and it amazes me how horny he gets me. I will admit I initiated it. That’s so brazen of me don’t you think? He just makes me feel so comfortable, damn him! Haha. But I will admit I needed the release. What truly amazes me is that I have no idea what The Texan looks like other than what he described. And I don’t care. I will live blissfully in ignorance on this one.

There is a barrier I have put on my heart lately, and I have noticed it. More so last night. I am starting to be one of those people who pop up on a Messanger, after disappearing for days, with intentions of “getting some cyber love.” I used to shun men for doing this, and now I find myself doing it. I don’t build connections anymore. I keep men at an arm’s length now, and keep my feelings deeply in check. By doing this I think I may have turned into a “cyber whore.” Ultimately, all I want The Texan for is good conversation and some cyber lovin’ and I think he is perfectly okay with that. Can’t men feel when they are being used? Or are they just grateful that a woman will let him into her “cyber pussy?” It’s quite the head scratcher, I have got to say.

It’s odd, in all my time over the years being online, the ultimate goal was to find true love. I know it’s quite difficult to have a relationship solely online, but many people do it these days. They even meet sometimes, (in rate cases), and live happily ever after. So what has changed in me? Have I become so jaded that all I want from a man is a few hours of conversation followed by a “happy ending?” It’s weird, I don’t think I do. In fact, these sex sessions only happen with The Texan and no one else that I speak to online. Am I developing feelings for him? God, I hope not. I don’t want to get myself all wrapped up and heartbroken again. But you know, I think this is different, because for the first time in my life things seem “oh so right.” I feel like a woman in control of her own destiny. I know I can have The Texan anytime I choose and I have my best friend (soul mate) around for companionship. I also have the opportunity for some employment, (fingers crossed for my interview tomorrow), so it seems things are finally in order.

Then why the snow in May when my life seems to be, for the first time, normal?

The universe works in such strange ways me thinks. Let’s see what else is in store for me.

Stay tuned.

About shatteredwishes

I am in my late-thirties just trying to figure out life in a big city. "When in life you are handed lemons, make a vodka martini." "When I am happy I enjoy the music, but when I am sad I understand the lyrics."
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