Hormones are Buzzing, But I am Gonna Follow My Heart Instead.


So, in the age of swiping, ghosting, Vegas weddings, (yes they still are a thing), and the infamous one-night stands, what’s your take on the whole “relationships in 2019??” I mean, there are plenty of people who have found their mates, but what about the rest of us?

I have loved my best friend since we met in 2010. We met on Eharmony, sparks flew, and we lasted a good three years together. After the relationship went kaput, we stayed friends, and remained, to this day, as best friends. I actually have never gotten into a relationship since then, but it’s okay because me and my bestie became even closer than we did when we were together.

I could say I have moved on from him, especially since my little fling last year with a tattooed hottie named James – but every time I want to go have a nice romp/relationship, my thoughts always goes back to my bestie.

Look, things are going great in my life – I am at home with my folks enjoying my time with them, playgirling it around whenever I wish, and on my way to a new career in writing, or going back to school full-time for that elusive degree I have always wanted. To be honest, in my 20+ years of dating, having a man is hard work – all the endless waxing, blowjobs, and whatever the hell else is required so you don’t get cheated on. Yeah, that’s a real issue cause for every good man out there, at least 10 bitches are lined up ready to pounce on your Prince Charming. Sorry ladies, it’s a FACT. So, I am kinda happy and comfortable with my bestie and all the freedoms I have as a woman. I think after you reach a certain age, you grow out of the “ring” and the elaborate “wedding” and you like your big bed and your hairy legs and as Carrie Bradshaw once put it, “Your Secret Single Behavior.”

Anyway, this all is nice and comfortable – (especially since I have a pact with my bestie that when everyone dies out and it’s just me and him, we are gonna retire and live out our lives together), BUT what happens when opportunities pop up for a chick? I am nothing to sneeze at – I am still rockin’ it at 38 with a good amount of 20 year-olds on my tail, but I have also attracted two very nice prospects recently. One of them is a hot 50 something with a rockin’ body and great career, the other is an old friend who I saw recently and I’m looking at in a whole new light cause – DAMN! Was this man this FINE the whole time I have known him?? And his voice can turn any woman’s panties into a creamsicle. Gross yes, but strangely accurate!

I guess what I want to say is, (and the point of this post), is that no matter what is out there, you KNOW it’s true love when you are willing to turn down some nice piece of tail. I mean I think I could turn one (or both) of those guys into relationships, but what happens to my bestie? I suppose he will always be my bestie, but I have just grown so used to him that I will really miss him – I mean I fart and burp around this man! Haha.

I know what love is and I am very happy to have it. Maybe my relationship with my bestie isn’t the typical kind of relationship, but we’ve made it work for 9 years and counting. I love him, I do, and even after I was upset at him a month ago for having a female friend over – he was on the phone with me most of the time she was staying with him, asked me to come over and have dinner with them, AND volunteered to put her up in a hotel because I was uncomfortable with it. But I didn’t want him to waste his money, AND even if he wanted to sleep with her. he can because technically we aren’t in a relationship. I mean if I am out there considering some BOOTAY, he should have that same option right? Fair’s fair.

Anyway, the moral of the story is if you have someone who loves and cares about you, hold onto it and treasure it. I am pretty sure if I slept with one or BOTH of those guys, my bestie would still call me every night – cause that’s just who he is and that’s what we have. I won’t do it though, I wouldn’t be able to live with it because I just love him like oh so much. So I guess it’s no adventures in Cabo with Bachelor #1, and no sex romps in Delaware with Bachelor #2.

Stay tuned.

About shatteredwishes

I am in my late-thirties just trying to figure out life in a big city. "When in life you are handed lemons, make a vodka martini." "When I am happy I enjoy the music, but when I am sad I understand the lyrics."
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8 Responses to Hormones are Buzzing, But I am Gonna Follow My Heart Instead.

  1. First of all let me say…. I have been enjoying not having to shave and wax every week because I am afraid of what my significant other will say about my hairy ass legs and patch!! LMAO!!! Secondly, when I was just having a fling, I only shaved and wax when I knew what was going down that night!! LOL!! But this is so well written! I have been single from a real relationship for 8 years now. But I have had my share of “flings” during that time. But I am honestly starting to think I am scared. I love my freedom and being able to lump on my couch or bed whenever for however long…leave town when I want….. but then I think it would be nice to come home to someone…. and then I get that itch… but then I remember oh wait, I haven’t shaved my legs…. oh well!! It’s a slippery slope with me though. I have no clue what or who God has in store for me…. but I continue to pray for that sweet gentle soul, who can be MANLY when he needs to be, a little touchy feely, a little nerdy…. but until he shows up at my doorstep…. I’ll keep my hairy legs… and guacomole/salsa dip handy!! LMAO!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha girl you’re so funny! I have been loving the idea too. I mean just let is all get hairy and hang out right?? 8 years is just about as long as me, I’m at 9 – and you know what it IS freedom. I don’t think I would like my life any other way at this point, if I am totally honest with myself ya know? I do have a real itch for a fling though (I am going to write about it now), but what it really comes down to me and men is that its about needs. What do I really NEED right now? Oh, a nice manly John Wayne/James Dean type would be splendid right now, and I kinda know one, but you know God has other plans for me, I feel it in my heart. I am scared too, scared of losing someone I really care about. I hope you find your Prince someday though, someone who will just LOVE those hairy legs!! You go girl! Lol. So good hearing from you again. xoxoxoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I know what you mean!! I almost…ALMOST called an old fling…. but I thought NOPE!! Keep it clean girlfriend…. The one can’t find me if there is some other captain in his ship… LMAO!!!!!!!!!! I can’t wait to read the next entry!!! Good to hear from you too!!!! ❤ xxxoooxxooxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha, it’s all about keeping it clean ain’t it????!! Anyway, listen if you want that fling to get you flung then do you girl!! Haha, you know there lots of captains with a lot of ships!! Yeah, posted the other day, I’ve basically got my mind made up, so nice to see you !! ❤


  3. I think you need to marry your best friend or not have him in your life. It’s holding you back from anything real. Best of luck ☘️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey April! Thank you for commenting. It may not seem like it, but I am happy where I am at in my life. I have my space, freedom and his love and it is because I have all this freedom that I wonder about any other opportunities. I don’t need the ring, what I have is very real. I am good. Thanks for your opinion!!!! ❤


      • I truly meant it in a non-judge mental way. I’m glad you are happy, you have a fun blog!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh sweetie, I knew you didn’t mean anything judgmental by your comment – I totally appreciate you taking the time to look out for me and my happiness – that is most kind of you. I am happy though, but I can’t help there are so many cuties out there that tempt to do some really bad stuff!!! It’s all good though, life couldn’t be better. Thanks for the compliment on my blog, I will go check out yours if I can! Thanks again! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

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